Camilo Meija Speaks At Left Bank

One of my favorite bands, State Radio, has a song called "Camilo" (fan video shown above), which is a tribute to Staff Sgt. Camilo Mejia, an Iraq War veteran who went AWOL and refused to return to Iraq after a two-week furlough in the US. After being on the run for five months, Mejia turned himself in to military officials, filed for conscientious objector status, which was denied, and was tried and convicted of desertion. He was sentenced to one year in a military prison and discharged for bad conduct. He served his sentence and was released in 2005. Since then, he has spoken out against the war. His argument for his desertion was that the orders he was under in Iraq were in effect, war crimes, including abuse and torture of prisoners, and that made the war illegal, and he could not, in good conscious, continue to participate in an immoral and illegal war. He was the first Iraq War veteran to refuse further service

I have followed Meija's story since I heard the song "Camilo", and tonight I got the opportunity to hear him speak at Left Bank Books here in St. Louis, where he read from and discussed his book, Road From Ar Ramadi: The Private Rebellion of Staff Sergeant Camilo Meija. It was an honor and privilege to meet him.

Mejia has been made out in the media to be a coward, someone who only spoke out as a conscientious objector to save his own skin, but just listening him speak would convince those who question Mejia's motives. He talked about what being an occupier in an occupied country was like, and how, when you are literally in constant fear of losing your life in a completely alien culture, the line between "good" and "bad" disappears, and clarity about your own conscience cannot be fully realized within that context. Many criticize him because he had been in the Army National Guard for eight years, yet he only claimed CO status after his tour of Iraq. He says that was because although he knew what was happening in Iraq was wrong, it took his removal from Iraq during his furlough to realize that he could not, in good conscience, continue to serve in Iraq. While he was in prison, Amnesty International, the world's largest human rights organization, declared him a Prisoner of Conscience and campaigned on his behalf.

As I listened to him speak about the atrocities of the War, of the anguish he felt by "deserting" his fellow soldiers, and his process of declaring himself a conscientious objector, I was moved to tears. The courage it must have taken him, to risk his career, to risk the respect of his fellow soldiers, to risk his standing in the US (he was/is a green card holder; his conviction was not grounds for deportation), was both humbling and inspiring. He continues to speak out against the war, and is active in Veterans for Peace, Iraq Veterans Against The War, and Amnesty International. Chris and I both got a copy of his book, which I can't wait to read even though I have eight million other things to do right now. He signed my copy, "To Kelli: with thanks for your support and your work as a teacher," and signed Chris's copy (for his classroom) "To Mr. Oliver's classes: wishing you a future dedicated to the preservation and enhancement of life."

We are Partners of Conscience for Amnesty, and plan on becoming active in the local chapter. If you are in St Louis and interested in the local chapter, there is a monthly business/education meeting the 2nd Tuesday of the month, 7PM at the Schlafly Branch Library in the CWE, and a monthly action meeting, dedicated to actively working on campaigns, the 4th Tuesday of each month at 7PM at Hartford Coffee Company in Tower Grove South.

Fabulous Fair Part 1

So we spent much of Saturday at the Iowa State Fair. The Fair is the quintessential Iowa event: EVERYONE goes to the Fair. Those in Iowa who are able to and choose to abstain are not real Iowans. Many people go multiple times over the eleven days of the fair. Case in point: although it was almost 100 degrees on Saturday, there were over 100,000 humans at the Fair. That, no joke, is almost half of Des Moines. Apparently, 400 pound people riding Rascals and lugging around oxygen tanks are not deterred by 100 degree weather with 80% humidity. And damn it, don't stop your scooter right in front of me so you can watch some guy shill Magic Bullets, because I'm going to kick your oxygen tank.

Anyway, on to the Fair! Chris was a first-time attendee, and he humored my requests to relive my childhood. Above is a picture of me with all the corn being shown at the Fair. People raise different fruits and veggies and flowers and bring them to the Fair to see whose is the best. I stood by the blue-ribbon one so the East Indian people near me would think it was mine.



This is Chris and an ostrich. Strikingly similar.





This is the biggest bull at the fair. He weighed over 3,000 pounds. This is the sign on his pen. People line up for this shit, I swear.



The people watching was great, although we didn't take pictures of the Hoosiers, because, unlike the boar or the bull, they are not in cages and may retaliate by beating someone over the head with a turkey leg. We saw one woman, who was younger than me, with her baby's face tattooed on her upper thigh. Um, judging by this woman, she's either going to blow up from years of corn dogs and tator tots or get really skinny from years of meth use, so either way, that weird Gerberish baby face on your thigh is going to be distorted in no time at all. I also saw an early-20's woman with a cursive "Daddy's Little Girl" tramp stamp. The jorts were errwhere.


Here's what you've been waiting for: the biggest boar's balls. He weighed over 1,000 pounds, all disgusting. Again, people line up for this shit.

More highlights from the Fair to follow after I take a shower. I went with Banter to Atomic Cowboy to watch Devlin's Kids (wearing Imo's T-Shirts, Dos Dedos, and The Disappeared put on a little rock show, which was OUTSIDE, so I personally rocked a sweatstache the entire time. It was laid back, probably because it was Sunday and OUTSIDE, but I got to talk to my friend Eric, the guitarist for Dos Dedos, for a long time, which was awesome since we haven't hung out in a while. Anyway, I got sweaty and that ain't cool right now at 11AM on my last weekday of sleeping in, so I gots to shower.

Friday Fun: Simpsons

Check out this website. You can turn yourself into a Simpsons character.

Here's me and Wolverine.

We're off to the Fair. Woo-hoo!

Globo Warming?

That's what Rush Limbaugh calls global warming because he is an idiot and STILL believes that global warming isn't real.

The latest Newsweek cover story highlights the calculated campaign to "debunk" global warming. A real shock to anyone, the "deniers" are almost entirely orchestrated by lobbying groups representing the petroleum, auto, coal, and other utilities companies. The amount of money changing hands is frightening, and interestingly enough, their rhetorical strategy is the same one that the cigarette industry used for decades. You can read the story here, or my summary of it for Green Options here (though that probably won't be up until Thursday).

On a brighter note, I scored great seats for Ryan Adams at the Pageant in October. Also, picked up the new Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, "This Is Somewhere" and it's awesome. If you don't know her, and you're into bluesy, yet rocking (I saw her at Wakarusa, she does indeed rock), you should. She's like if Norah Jones had some angst and sass, and had a Gibson and a B-3. And she's like 21.

Going to the Iowa State Fair this weekend! Hoo-rah! Cold beer, fried food, the biggest hoosiers you've ever seen in your life, and hogs with balls bigger than your head. I've been mising home.

Back to School...

So two weeks ago I went back to school (college) and two weeks from now I'll go back to school (high school). It's funny that I have such conflicting opinions to two similar things. Actually, going back to grad school made me want to go back to school way less. I'm pretty sure that's because getting my doctorate seems like the first step in a new phase of my life that will eventually take me out of the classroom and into a more critical/activist vocation. That, coupled with the fact that our district tax levy didn't pass today, which pretty much means that my position is going to be cut, means that no matter what, I'll be doing something somewhat different in 08/09, whether that be a different position in my district or somewhere else, or something completely different.

So, cool school. Here's what up on that, because I don't think I explained it very well. The actually doctorate in in Leadership and it is housed in St. Thomas' school of ed. Basically, in the core courses (which I take with my cohort, basically my "class" of 23 others) we examine a critical perspective of leadership and organizational theory. In plain English, that means we look at power structures, and how race, class, gender, culture, etc. have influenced, and continue to influence, leadership and society. Each of us then chooses one or more "collaterals" which are kind of like a major inside the program. My two collaterals, at least at this point, are critical pedagogy and public policy. So basically, I am really interested in social justice, education, and how those structures are created, and I will take about half of my total coursework examining this stuff. What I'm going to do, it's too early to tell. Maybe higher ed, but possibly some type of consulting/teacher development. I do know that the program is exactly what I want to do, and I have no regrets about the relatively drastic steps I'm taking to go through it. The people in my cohort are fucking awesome. They are a diverse group of people who are passionate about changing the world.

I did, actually, finish The Dialectic of Freedom, which is a good thing because we'll be using it in my fall core class. This book is fucking mind blowing. If I could sum it up, it would be this: the idea that we (and by we, I mean the general American public) are really, truly free is false, because what we perceive as freedom is completely dependent on exploiting other people. For example, our consumer culture is dependent on establishing a chain of relationships with people we never meet, and who have shittier lives than us, largely because of us. If I buy a cotton skirt at Old Navy, chances are that the growth of the cotton was destructive to someone's environment and it was probably made in a sweatshop that exploits cheap labor. So I may celebrate my "freedom" to buy a $17 skirt with money I earned myself, but I fucked someone else to do that (even if I never see those people). Continuing, our freedom is also largely false because even though we are "free" in this country, most people feel as though their actions make no difference, therefore they are passive citizens. Unconsciously, we feel as though we have little decision in the actions of our government, or in any other processes capable of making significant social change.

Think about that in terms of the current political climate in the US. Completely and totally outrageous shit is taking place, all orchestrated by the current administration and its cronies who apparently believe that the Constitution means nothing anymore. But is anybody REALLY outraged? People are more outraged at Britney's fall from grace. And even those of us who are outraged (including myself) feel completely helpless to do anything (about the government, you jerks, not Britney). Like, what am I going to do? I can call my congresspeople and express my outrage, but does ANYTHING get done in Washington other than endless playing of the political game? Seriously? I could organize a protest, but that tactic is so played out that it seemed satirical in 1994 when PCU came out. There are efforts at grassroots efforts outside of the political system, but those are limited because (here comes the endless cycle) people feel helpless. Hence, we aren't free, according to Maxine Greene. Most people will dismiss this as theoretical bullshit because damnit, if we ain't free here in America, then what are we? If we really aren't free, then the empty rhetoric that we call patriotism is glaringly empty. But to me, it rings completely true.

The only light at the end of my OTHER school tunnel (that is, me returning to school in a few weeks) is that a group of my StuCo kids became involved in a citizen action project for high school kids over the summer, examining eminent domain, public policy, and local government. They did some awesome stuff and want to plan a whole "Active Citizen" workshop for teenagers across STL, and they did that pretty much all on their own. So that's badass.

A Far Cry From Feathers and Sweat Lodges

For those of you in St Louis, we're having a welcome home party for the lovely Sue Jake, who has been in Alaska for the past six weeks. She's got stories to tell, and since she was on a dry reservation, is desperately in need of drinks. Meet up at our house any time after seven on Saturday. We'll be drinking, playing washers, and there will be a bouncer checking IDs. BYOB. Kegs are a hassle.

Coming Home!

I'm coming home late tonight. I haven't written because I've been so, so, so busy. All can say is that this experience has been transformative, and I'll try to relate it when I have a little time to reflect fully.

Unfortunately, I also picked up, every so slightly, that long "o" sound so prevalent in Minnesota/Wisconsin. I'm not pretentious, I swear.

Anyone up for drinks tomorrow?

This Time, I Ain't Dancing On A Frat House Bar

After spending a phenomenal weekend with Molly and Abby at Molly's parents' still-under-construction lake house (Steve Adams knows how to do retirement, I'll tell you what;this joint is going to be unbelievable when it is done) Chris dropped me off at the dorms for my return to college life. My thoughts on the experience thus far:

* It might sound cliched, but I really feel like a freshman. You'd know I'm not lying if you could have seen me walking my ass to Whole Foods to grab some food, clutching my vinyl ID-card holder/keychain (with one lonely dorm-room key) and a inconspicuously-folded map of the campus, trying to not get lost.

* Despite the fact that it's July, there is still life on the campus, namely 300 or so cheerleaders here for cheer camp, and several incoming freshman here for orientation. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that I'm surrounded by kids who could conceivably be my former students, or the fact that they might ask me to buy them beer.

* I was the first of my roommates to arrive (most people aren't coming until tomorrow AM), and damn, dorms have blown up since I was in school. My "room" is a suite. There are four bedrooms, each with a desk, closet, bed, chest of drawers, pretty standard. However, we have two bathrooms (one with a shower-tub and one with a big walk-in shower) a living room, and a full kitchen with fridge, oven, and microwave. And wireless. No posters of Tupac, though.

* Why is my dorm right next to DPS? Does the reputation of my former self precede me?

Gotta jet. Not only do I have to check out whether or not Sodexho is up in this bitch, but I still don't have all my reading finished. You know that think blue book I've been carrying around since May? The Dialectic of Freedom? 135 pages? Yeah, I'm still on page 99. Shit is philosophical.

Some things never change.

On The Road Again

Chris and I are leaving Friday to head up to Minnesota. We're first going to Eastern MN to spend the weekend with Molly and Abby at Molly's parents lake house. Monday morning, Chris is dropping me off in int Twin Cities so I can start my week-long class at the University of St Thomas. It's the first of my core classes that I'll take with my cohort, the group of people that I'll take most of my classes with. I'm excited and nervous, but I know it's going to be transformative. Hopefully, I'll be able to post, but I'll be pretty busy, becoming an intellectual while simultaneously saving the world.

Keep me amused with stories from home. Or Alaska. Or Europe.

Pop Culture Update

Yet another perk of summer vacation is the freedom to read and watch pretty much anything I want. I have really been enjoying my time at home this week, reading, watching various shows/films, listening to NPR and music, and clicking around the net. My recommendations:

Books
I highly recommend one of Jon Krakauer's older books, Into Thin Air. It tells the true story of a young college graduate who abandons his affluent lifestyle to wander the country with little but the clothes on his back. He eventually makes his way to Alaska, where he starves to death in the wilderness (that ain't no spoiler, it's on the front cover of the book). Krakauer juxtaposes this story with stories of others disillusioned by the structure of conventional society seeking refuge in the wilderness and poses the question of were these people mentally disturbed, or just sick of it all? Quick read, too.

I'm current still struggling through The Dialectic of Freedom by Maxine Greene, but that shit is blowing my mind. Here's the central idea: our concept of "freedom" is false; we are only truly free if we acknowledge, then take action to change, that which oppresses us within our community. It is more than political freedom--it's beyond that. In other words, we aren't free if we can't identify the bars on the cages (I think that's how Daniel Quinn put it in Ishmael). We don't care about freedom of speech if we don't really have anything to say. I will get into it more in depth but I'm still trying to wrap my head around it before I go to Minneapolis next week.

Other than that, I also read Ann Patchett's The Patron Saint of Liars, which was great, re-read Bill Bryson's A Walk In The Woods, and A Different Mirror: A History of Multicultural America by Ronald Takaki. All worth reading.

Music
We recently bought a few CD's for the trip back from the AT. Of course, Ryan Adams' latest, Easy Tiger was one of the select. I am not ashamed of my love for Adams. His new CD, on first listen, sounds like a hodgepodge of Jacksonville City Nights, 29, and Cold Roses, but it has grown on me (which is what usually happens with his CDs). Also digging the newest Rufus Wainwright
and some Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.

Screens
Yes, we saw Sicko. Other awesomeness of note , on DVD, includes C.S.A: The Confederate States of America, which is a mockumentary of the history of the "former" U.S. had the Confederacy won the Civil War. We also saw Hannibal Rising , which was okay, and are currently working our way through the third and final season of HBO's Deadwood. If you are looking to find a new DVD addiction, I cannot express how much I loved watching the entire series of Six Feet Under. I've never been so affected by a television show, never grown so attached to a group of characters, and never seen a more satisfying series finale.

Another questions...

How is Elisabeth Hasselbeck still relevant? It's unfortunate that The View, which started out as a platform for smart women to have a voice, now employs someone completely antithetical to feminism and, for that matter, logic and reason.

Also, lay off the self-tanner.

Sorry, I've been watching daytime.

Quick Question

Why do pundits insist on questioning whether or not Barack Obama is "black enough"? As if Obama's "blackness" hasn't impacted him every single day of his life, including having people question his authenticity as a black man because he was "clean and articulate". This is such bullshit on so many levels.

Sicko

Chris and I went and saw Sicko last night. Say what you want about Michael Moore, his style and his politics, but he knows how to bring the drama, and this is a great film. In fact, if you check it out, those who seek to "debunk" Moore's films are having trouble finding real inconsistencies, particularly when looking at the big picture

I think the topic of health care was a brilliant choice for Moore. Health care affects everyone and is something that we all care about, if not for others, at least for ourselves. Even more intelligently, Moore doesn't focus on the millions of Americans who are uninsured, but instead looks at how insurance companies fuck their clients every single day. Fact: HMO's are having record profits, while the #1 cause of bankruptcy in a America is medical bills. Here's a question: why are people making money off of sick people? Is that ethical? Is it ethical that health insurance companies are not interested in helping people when they are sick, but how they can find ways to avoid paying for care? For what most Americans pay for insurance, shouldn't the level of care be exceptional, and, equally important, headache-free?

Moore shows four examples of countries with universal health care: Canada, Cuba, France, and the UK. Granted, citizens of these countries pay more in taxes, but think about not having any health insurance or medical bills. Even our car insurance would be less, too, because you wouldn't have to factor in medical costs in case of an accident. It seems to me that the costs would even out. If we have $2 trillion to spend on the war in Iraq, I can't see why we haven't found the money to take care of our citizens' health.

What was even more interesting to me was the emphasis on preventative care and mental/emotional health care in the countries highlighted. For example, in the UK, women get six months PAID maternity leave. At my job, which one would think would be a family-friendly workplace, you don't get any paid maternity leave, and I think that's pretty standard. In France, the government even pays for mother's helpers to visit homes and do laundry, clean and take care of the children. Doctors still make house calls. Quality child care is free or almost-free.

One major point the film makes is that in these countries, the idea is that the system works for the people. As a nation prospers, that prosperity should bring about improvements to all people's lives. The attitude in the U.S. is that our "freedom" means that we take care of ourselves and our country owes us nothing. God forbid we take care of each other. Because, you know, that would be socialism, or even worse, communism! People have this idea that if we were to have universal health care, it would be abused by all these freeloaders, ruffians, and ne'er-do-wells and all us hardworking, worthy Americans would unfairly bear the burden of these lazy bums. Because hardworking Americans never face health emergencies that they can't afford. Not in the land of milk and honey! I feel as though, in a country of such wealth as ours, if a citizen is sick, they should be able to receive top quality care, no questions asked, and the last thing they should have to think about is can they afford said care. I think it comes down to the fact that people are so self-interested that they can't see past the threat of someone else getting more from a system such as this than themselves. It would be unfair to pay, through taxes, into a system that might give someone else more than they might get. Is it so audacious that a health care system might function solely to take care of people, any people, that might cross its path? Consider this: when I lived in Germany, one of my roommates was an insulin-dependent diabetic. The day a few of us left to go home, she passed out in our apartment and was rushed to a German hospital. She spent several days in the hospital and paid not a penny. If this were to happen in America, many Americans would resent the fact that they paid for a foreigners hospital bill. However, this sentiment, in many countries with universal health care, doesn't exist.

Why is it so hard for Americans to support the idea of universal health care?

I Ain't Dead

To quote Banter (who may very well be dead...he posts even less than me).

WHAT UP? I've been gone. Real gone. Chris and I done had some adventures, including: Wakarusa, Colorado with Chris's fam, then our Appalachian Trail odyssey out east. We got back from the AT at 6AM Wednesday (my 27th birthday) and something was up with Blogger that I didn't get around to fixing until this morning. Now, I've got so much to talk about I'm just going to have to blog up a storm.

Where to even begin? Let's start with this morning. There's something about a Saturday morning, any time of the year, really, but in the summer especially. I got up early for a Saturday and went to the Tower Grove Farmers Market. TG is my favorite market, and what a great time to go; I got some tomatoes, garlic, corn, blueberries, new potatoes, and eggs (plus an iced coffee.) Then I swung over to the fairly-new Local Harvest Grocery to pick up some staples, since we have no food in the house. I came home, ate a bowl of sliced tomatoes with salt, pepper, some fresh purple basil from my backyard, and a bit of grated parm over the top, and it was sublime. Eating local foods is one of the best things your can do to lessen your carbon footprint, and there's no time like the present to get fresh produce. The tomatoes alone, people, seriously. I highly recommend the TG market and the Maplewood market on Wednesday afternoons at Schlafly. I am a big fan of Biver Farms and their organic produce.

Here are things I'm going to blog about in the new few days: our trip to the AT, Sicko, which I saw last night, shit I've been thinking about with my doctoral program starting in a week or so, the POTUS elections, cooking, and current pop culture.

Big ups to my girl Thorper1, who is marrying her Mr. Big today in WashMo. Country Roads, anyone?

2nd Annual Backyard Trivia

Sweet Jesus.

Backyard trivia is fun, but someone needs to cut me off. Otherwise, I end up trying to throw umbrellas over power lines at 4 AM with some dudes and the alcoholic wannabe cougar across the street.

The trivia night itself was pretty fun. Only Paul showed up to defend the original Champagne of Trivia's title. I guess Dan is a pussy.

Congratulations to The Rabbits, also known as Standard Trivia, also known as many incantations of "This Guy is a Fine-Arts Pussy", who took home the title, narrowly defeating Mr. Wright's Nipples. Big ups to the teacher team of Miss Piggy's Taint Blister who arguably could have won, since Chris/Wolverine actually gave away answers as he read questions, and they would have had a real edge in the English teacher category had Chris not leveled the playing field. Sorry, guys, you have to play the lie. Categories included The Office, Inconsequential People, The Environment, Mr. Oliver's 10th Grade English, Finish the movie quote, Schlafly beer tasting, 80's Sitcom Theme Songs, 90's Rap, Nintendo Music, and Stoner Trivia.

Trivia was all fine and good, but we went ahead and got that there second keg, not a great idea, since half of it is still sitting in my backyard. The great part of the night was the fact that all the Epiphany hoosiers in my hood came out for the festivities. And when I say all, I don't mean the fairly normal neighbors on one side, who were hosting a 8th grade pool party but didn't have a problem with me saying "motherfucker" in a microphone approximately 24 times, and not the new neighbors, who, I'm sure, were cowering aghast watching the apocalypse happening in our backyard. No, I'm talking about the drunk lady across the street, who, while we were moving in, embraced us and said, "I'm sure going to miss you." She and her cousin? sister? some other cougar, were at one point engaged in a vehement discussion about how she shouldn't be in trouble if her son doesn't go to school (her son? just got home from juvy a month or so ago) and the cops were coming after her because her son was a delinquent. Well, yeah, keep countin' the days until Dirty Andy's 18th, lady. She then attracted a slew of people, including the guy two doors down who seemed okay, but three other people that I had no idea as to their identities. One got into with the neighbor because he once slashed her tires a while back. The other one, I swear to God, was Tim Blake Nelson's character in O Brother Where Art Thou, and I can't even remember specifics other than he seemed to have teleported here from deep in the Ozarks, maybe even Arkansas. The third, I don't even know. So that was just pure unintentional comedy throughout the night.

At four or so, when the last of the dudes + Stunner left, Chris had to kick the aspiring trashy cougar out even though she really wanted to clean our backyard, and then the guy next door warned Chris over the fence to stay away from her. Woke up the next morning to clean and almost puked. Seriously, I laid on the couch all day and watched Sex and the City reruns like I was back in college. All day. Like a crazy person in the same clothes and shit. At one point I couldn't find my laptop, so I started freaking out, sure that one of the unknown sketchy characters walked off with it. After about a half hour of that, my sister-in-law Beth came over to get her phone. I started to tell her about my computer, and she said, "You idiot. I told you I hid it last night so the hoosiers wouldn't steal it. I gave you a note and everything." I had no note and no recollection. Later, her husband, John, claims that I even read the note out loud and thanked Beth for her candor, but I don't remember and I'm just glad that Beth is sneaky-smart about this type of shit.

I encourage those of you who were there, particularly into the wee hours, to contribute your interpretation of the night's events. I think we all have some gaps in memory that could be filled in.

Just Let Her Cry, Man

Pour one out. Jeff Buckley died ten years ago today. Damn. Seems like only yesterday that "Last Goodbye" was on a commercial for MTV's Buzz Bin and I first fell in love with that song (it was the same Buzz Bin commercial as "Good" by Better Than Ezra). People can fucking say what they want, such as bullshit that Buckley's talent was mediocre at best and only gained prestige posthumously. One fucking listen to Live at Sin-E , where his haunting voice rocks your soul so painfully...just, wow. I can't say enough things.

Which brings me to hollerin at the oft-forgotten 90's alt rock. I know many of my friends were listening to punk and hardcore, but I was awash in whatever was in Sassy or on in the early morning or late at nite on MTV, because MTV played videos still and that was where you learned about music in Des Moines, Iowa, until about 1995, when 107.5 "The Dot" started playing a four-hour loop of alt-rock, no DJs, just to see if us hayseeds would actually listen to that there rock and roll. I remember Weezer's "The Sweater Song" was in heavy rotation, along with "Everything Zen" by Bush and "Lightening Crashes" by Live. This nostalgia makes me want to make a list of songs from the 90's that remind me of late middle school/early high school. It's my blog; I do what I want.

* "Possum Kingdom" The Toadies
* "Plush" STP
* "Hey Jealousy" Gin Blossoms
* "Stay" Shakespeare's Sister
* the totally classic "Stay" by Lisa Loeb and 9 Stories (shout out to Dirty Curty and Burns)
* "Cannonball" The Breeders
* "Tomorrow" Silverchair
* "Cornflake Girl" Tori Amos
* anything Smashing Pumpkins
* "Stand By You" The Pretenders
* "Linger" The Cranberries
* "Creep" Radiohead...fucking Radiohead just came with it in the 90's.
* REM's Monster
* "Under the Bridge" RHCP
* "Blister In The Sun" Violent Femmes (totally popularized by the epic My So-Called Life, along with anything by Buffalo Tom
* My very first concert experience, sans parents, was Toad the Wet Sprocket and Hootie and the Blowfish, spring break my freshman year of high school, and I have no fucking shame at all about it, because Toad rocks and had a little-person drummer at the time and it was the first time I ever smelled weed. And I thought I was a badass because I wore a tye-dyed t-shirt AND a Stussy hat. Because I was totally a skater. Or not.

Don't hate, I had many of these songs/artists on tape singles. Because I might not want the entire Lisa Loeb CD. But I do, pun completely intended for those Lisa Loeb fans out there. I bring all this nonsense up because there was a time, not so long ago, when commercial radio was good and quality and played music you wanted to listen to, that you loved to listen to. And that was 1993-1997.

Greatest Teen Magazine In the World...Tribute.

I was reading Bust when I saw a book review for How Sassy Changed My Life: A Love Letter to the Greatest Teen Magazine of All Time by Kara Jesella and Marisa Meltzer. Sassy? I remembered the glossy cover and felt an entirely-unknown emotion: nostalgia for my middle-school years.

Ironically, was first exposed the Sassy at church camp. I was eleven, the year was 1991, and I was in a cabin with a girl named Erin, who really didn't care too much about what Jesus was up to at a camp in rural Iowa. She wore flip-flops and sunglasses and had a tangle of brown hair down her back and two issues of Sassy in the bottom of her Caboodle. I had a blonde afro, glasses, and those Umbros with one teal leg and one purple leg, and I was in awe of her. While other girls read their bibles on the porch of our cabin, she and I pored over those two issues, over and over again, and I was officially in love with a magazine.

If you did not read Sassy, the premise is this: teen magazine for budding feminist, independent, alternative girls. Instead of tips on how to get boys to like you and what makeup to wear, Sassy had exclusive interviews with Kurt and Courtney, real sex advice, political features, and DIY articles. My bedroom walls went from pictures of pop-musicians to pictures of Sonic Youth, Evan Dando, 10,000 Maniacs, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, bands that seventh graders from the East Side of Des Moines had never even heard of, let alone listened to. Instead of the Guess jeans and rugby shirts that cool kids wore at my school, it was okay for me to wear Chucks and thrift-store corduroys.

Sassy was too sassy for it's own good, and it's ass-kicking format was dropped in 1994, right when I moved to the suburbs, only to be replaced, briefly, blasphemously, in 1994 by a Teen clone that was eventually put out of its misery, along with the few readers who hung on to the last death-rattle, in 1996. Infamous editor Jane Pratt then founded Jane, hoping to take the cult-following of Sassy into their adult years, but Jane never retained that indie spirit of Sassy, and Jane eventually left Jane, and legions of readers found their way to Bust. But it was Sassy, dear Sassy, that paved the way.

Sassy was smart and empowering, and for, me, validated my stand in the struggle that all adolescents experience: that in the quest to figure out who you are, who you really are is completely okay. It was okay to be smart, even if you were ostracized for it. It was okay to crush on the local gayboy. It was okay to listen to weird bands that weren't on the radio, and to be pro-choice, and to have chipped nail-polish, and to not define yourself by what boys at your school thought of you.

People who know my family wonder how I turned out so adamantly liberal, feminist, independent, and political when my family is fairly apolitical (though they love the gays and their guns) and, at times, downright conservative. I, too, wondered where my identity developed--and I think it absolutely comes from Sassy. I learned everything I needed to know to survive middle school from my surrogate big sisters: Jane, Christina, Marjorie, Karen, and the rest of the writers at the greatest teen mag of all time.

Blah

Six days, six days, six days left in the school year. I actually had a sick day yesterday, because I'm sick of bullshit. In the past week, I have been assaulted by a student, suffered through the insanity that is running "Field Day", lost our first district game because my girls played like a bunch of heartless scrubs, prematurely ending our season, among countless other annoyances at work. I've been pretty removed from work while it simultaneously consumes my life, if that makes any sense.

In other news, I got one hell of a sunburn from Team Awesome's third place finish at the Tournament of Champions. Eight hours of kickball and drunk Dudes in some hot weather is enough for this Devastator. I'm glad the season is over.

I've got several things I'm going to be writing about, I just have to get some motivation, so that may not happen until all my school stuff, which I am desperately procrastinating about, gets done.

Also, The Office's finale was awesome! Ryan's going to be Michael's boss? So, so, so great for next year.

Weekend Update

Despite the fact that I spent an entire day on public transportation all over St Louis last week, I managed to have quite an adventure on Saturday. I took the #30 bus to Soulard Market to get some green things and anarchist cookies. For some reason, I was under the impression that the #30 bus just did this little loop through downtown, went back through Soulard, and went back on Arsenal, so I just caught the bus at the same place I got off, thinking it would be cool to see downtown while the Cards fans were all loitering and what not.

An hour later, I'm in Wellston and I realize, um, yeah, maybe I should get off soon. Like the St Charles Rock Road MetroLink station. Where I ran into one of my students, then had to take MetroLink all the way back to Shrewsbury and wait for Chris to come pick me up. Don't ask.

Other than that, it was a chill weekend. Managed to, with the assistance of it being our friend Kim's birthday and she and her husband were in town from San Fran, finagle Chris into taking me to Terrene on Friday, which was delish. Had lunch with Chris's family. Drank some beers on Saturday with Rev Em and Joe and Christine. Finally returned to kickball after, no joke, a one-month hiatus, had to pitch against Tower Pub, and got lit up. I suck. Got a great sunburn on my shoulders and was outside a ton. As of today, there are 18 days left of school, and I get to take one of those off on Friday.

In Pop Culture News:
1) How did word of a new double Elliott Smith CD elude me until I read it in Jane magazine? Huh? One week from today. Obviously, Chris wants to camp out and get it at midnight, although I don't know where.
2) People, seriously, watch The Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman before it's too late. Comedy gold.
3) The latest issue of Rolling Stone, which is its 40th (!) anniversary edition has amazing interviews in it: Bright Eyes, Bob Dylan (by Jann Wenner), Michael Moore, Jimmy Carter. Seriously, check them out. It's awesome.

Big Timer.

So my boo's blog has been noticed by a bigger blog, and you can now read one of his posts, probably more, at The Daily Scare, who "exposes media and government propaganda, obfuscation, scare tactics, and fearmongering". Right up his alley! Give him some hits. No, not that kind, you assholes.