Live Notes from the State of the Union

51 weeks. 51 weeks. We can do it, guys.

Sigh. Is he really our president? Really? Two terms? Sweet Jesus, we get what we deserve, I swear.

*Cheney is a smug son of a bitch. This would be ten times more entertaining if Pelosi had a "I'm with stupid" shirt on or busted out laughing every once and a while. Bunny ears? It's your only chance, Nance. Come on; throw us a bone!

*How much more awesome would the State of the Union be if reactions other than a) clapping with a smirk or b) not clapping with a bored look, were allowed. Even just a "can you believe this asshole" point with a withering look or a knowing shake of the head. Right now, the most subversive behavior allowed is to read the program like you aren't listening.

*Cut to Obama pensively thinking with a fist to his mouth, thinking, "How can I liven this shit up a bit?" I'll tell you what: when Obama is president, all he needs to do is stand up there, hold his hands up and look around with a grin on his face as if to say, "What now, motherfuckers?" and it would be infinitely more awesome than this awful display of constructed reality. Actually, he could stand up there and say, "Give it up for my man Rrrrrandy Watson-ah." and it would be infinitely more awesome that this.

*NCLB is a bipartisan achievement? Achievement is not the word most people who are professional educators would use.

*Do you have anyone who doesn't work for a non-renewable energy company in your cabinet or in the EPA? Carbon sequestering is NOT the answer. The majority of coal is NOT clean. Keep talking like you made huge strides with emissions reductions. We're the only developed country to NOT ratify Kyoto and we were BOOED in Bali. The idea that we're "leading the way" when it comes to reducing greenhouse gas emissions is laughable at best, a bald-faced lie if we're being honest.

*I ask congress to ban the buying, selling, patenting or cloning of human life. But we can patent non-human lives with no qualms. There goes my eBay kidney business.

*Cheney only stands up when Bush mentions warmongering or the military.

*Has he read 1984? Do you think he understands the term Orwellian? I highly, highly doubt it. War=peace, right?

*Okay,okay I would stand up for the armed forces. I would, and I support veterans benefits and extended benefits to military families. And I do not support genocide. Why isn't everyone standing up for that statement. Aren't we all against genocide?

*I'd love to see the margin notes scribbled between Democrat congresspeople and senators. Do you think they're about the ridiculousness of the speech, or more along the lines of my marginal notes from class this weekend that said, "All I can think about is a burrito."

*Aaaaannnnndd, cut to The Office. Where at least the wildly foolish man in charge is fictional.

God bless America.

P.S. CBS post-speech coverage:
Katie Couric: Can you predict what people will say about him after his presidency?
Some dude: It doesn't look good.


Susan said...

Thanks for the summary. I instead watched a PBS special on Mary Pickford. Speaking of what happens to a person when they realize that they are no longer relevant...any post-presidency occupation/social predictions? I'd like to put some money on this.

KBO said...

If I was a betting woman, I'd say either a) largely-ceremonial CEO of Monsanto, Shell, or Boeing; or b) QVC host.

Susan said...

I was thinking a "Blue Collar Comedy Tour" groupie.

Matt said...

I love your commentary, because quite frankly, I am not very well-informed on politics. So, the rest of these comments may be strewn with idiocy. But, I like reading your stuff because it's funny; I would have to say you are comparable to the white female baby Jesus.

Do you really think that if a Democrat/Libertarian/Independent takes over, things will be that much different? I guess I'm just not sold; I think the hype is great, I am very eager to see a change, and I think Bush is a jackass, but I guess I don't really think things will change all that much. I hope I am proven wrong...I feel like on some levels the Big Two are polar opposites, but at the end of the day, we will be comparing apples to apples.

Hopefully, Barack can re-invent the Internet similar to Al Gore.

Matt & Steph - The STL said...

Oh, and we have rooms at the HI Express for Alumni...I think your BFF 'Os' and Sonds are getting one there as well

KBO said...

To a certain extent, I think you are right, Matt, because one leader is not an island and policy is made by more than the president. Change occurs first economically, then socially, then politically, if you read anything about how "change" works. That being said, we are part of the middle class, and the middle class will probably continue to live in a relatively similar manner because most of us have a buffer. However, I think the President does have influence on the quality of the lives of those whose economic situations are more precarious than our own, if that makes any sense.

I also think that there are certain decisions a president makes that can be life-altering. For example, the president nominates Supreme Court justices. They make huge decisions and are appointed for life. For example, if Roe vs. Wade were overturned, that would make a huge difference in the lives of women.

I also think that the president is representative of social change, and 70% of Americans are tired of watching Bush's bullshit. It's about time we had a president that inspires us and unites us and is working for positive change, not one that uses completely empty rhetoric and half-truths in 90% of what comes out of his mouth. When we get a new president, particularly if it is Obama, ask people in other countries when you travel what they think about it. I can guarantee you our foreign affairs will improve just by getting Bush out of office.

Geoff said...

I liked the SOTU. Although Bush has made mistakes, he has done some good things, namely keep the country safe since 9/11.

I am excited for President McCain's first State of the Union speach. That will be awesome.

KBO said...

Geoff, if McCain becomes president, I welcome all speaches he wants to give. Obama will be giving speeches.

Geoff said...

I don't mind Obama. Exponentially better than Billary. However, when the bullets start flying and he has to answer tough questions about his policies (or lack thereof), it may get tough for him to win the nomination. The Clinton machine is tough. As a Republican, Hillary would be my vote as she would be easier to beat.

McCain is the man because "Mac is back!" The Straight Talk Express is chugging all the way to the White House.

Too bad for Edwards. His smugness and lunacy didn't seem to resonate, even in his birth state of South Carolina.

Matt & Steph - The STL said...

Trust me, during my travels, people widely hate Bush or just think is such an idiot. I actually had one lady just start laughing uncontrollably when I asked her what she thought about Bush. I think that says a lot.

Jaelithe said...

I wish I had been watching this with you instead of by myself.

It would have been so much more entertaining.

Gregg said...

I think that no matter who gets elected, they will end up sounding much the same. In my opinion, this is because once they are in office and faced the actual situations, its a lot different than trying to convince people you are going to personally make life great for each and every one of them!

I had a first hand eye opening when I jumped from the bottom of the ladder at work to above my boss and just under a VP. Suddenly, things looked a lot different when I was juggling all the people and all the projects.

No matter what happens, the "opposite" side will hate what the other says.