Apology

Dear Neighbors--
Just wanted to apologize for the disturbance this morning. We were up really late watching the season finale of Lost on Tivo and planning for our upcoming Backyard Trivia Night. Really late. So late that both of us had Lost-themed dreams that were, well, quite disturbing and frighteningly real.

So when our SLPD-approved Club inadvertently depressed our car horn this morning for a good hour, we were so tired and dead to the world in our cocoon of a bedroom that we could not hear it! Luckily, the nice policewoman that you called knocked hard enough on our door that we jumped right up to remedy the situation, quite embarrassed, I might add. Thanks, Officer!

I hope this encounter doesn't persuade you to call the cops during Trivia tomorrow night. I promise to keep the debauchery to a relative minimum.

Thanks,
Your neighbors.

Don't Forget

The Third Semi-Annual Backyard Trivia Night is this Saturday. Deets here. We've been working on categories and some entertainment (don't get your hopes up, it's not Ali Baba)and I think it's going to be a good time. You should come.


Some notes: it's ten bones a head, which includes as much beer as two kegs will get ya. You are welcome to bring your own alternative beverage, but I'm still taking your money. You can win it back. Also, please bring your own chairs and tables. Normally we finagle chairs and tables from Standard Travel, but because Sunday is the SKA Tournament of Champions, we don't want to mess with hauling tables and chairs Sunday.

All are welcome, even if you are my virtual friend and we haven't met. Please, e-mail me OR comment if you for sure have a four or five-person team on lock. We just want to get a general idea of the amount of people, in case this goes into three-keg or one-keg territory, which I doubt will happen, but you never know. If you have your team name, please leave that, as well. Let the shit-talking commence.

Epiphany

I found my new blog soulmate. Bratz dolls suck. I totally had the idea for a slutty baby Halloween costume (along with slutty elderly woman and slutty Holocaust survivor) years ago. Read this awesomeness.

Hilarity

Okay, so I hate this song, and I totally understand the blatent sexual innuendos associated with it. But I spent an entire semester with teenage kids who were obsessed with it, and this video is just too hilarious. And don't you want that on your Friday morning before a three-day weekend?

Youth of America

If you want to see something hilarious, listen to my kids' rap about the McDonald's Dollar Menu. No, seriously.



Also, love the Comic Sans on the video. That's hard.

Team Awesome Goes Global

I mentioned that Team Awesome kickball was The Fan Show's Team of the Week on Sunday. If you want to see the segment, it's right here. Just click on the video that says "Awesome". That's me on the mound rockin' the avs.

Question

In looking into doing a major overhaul to my blog, I'm contemplating templates and wondering if white text on a black background is really that big a deal to people. So, here's a question: would you really stop reading my new-and-improved blog if I had a black background with white text? Discuss.

Weekend Update

I've had a great couple of days, minus the drama of Friday. Our star player decided it would be cool to participate in a walk-out orchestrated to protest the terribly oppressive regime's decision to not have Field Day this year. Unfortunately, it was the day of our last game, the conference championship, and she and 50-some other kids were suspended. So Friday was drama and emotion filled, as situations with teenage girls are wont to be.

Thursday I went to Wilco at The Pageant, which was unbelievable. I went with my friend Mike, who was my college soccer coach and all-around Cool Guy. We had fun and drank some beers and listened to the sweet setlist:

1. Sunken Treasure
2. You Are My Face
3. Hummingbird
4. Ashes Of American Flags
5. Company In My Back
6. Handshake Drugs
7. Pot Kettle Black
8. A Shot In The Arm
9. On And On And On
10. Misunderstood
11. Far, Far Away
12. Impossible Germany
13. New Madrid
14. Jesus, Etc.
15. California Stars
16. Walken
17. I'm The Man Who Loves You
18. Heavy Metal Drummer

Encore 1:
19. Spiders (Kidsmoke)
20. Hate It Here
21. Kingpin

Encore 2:
22. Passenger Side
23. Red-Eyed And Blue
24. I Got You (At The End Of The Century)
25. Casino Queen
26. Outtasite (Outta Mind)

Friday, Chris and I went and saw Prince Caspian, because I am totally a Narnia dork. It was really well done and visually cool, except for the very end when they used a contemporary pop song with lyrics for the final poignant scene, which I found to be stupid. It was as if in the final scene of a Harry Potter movie, they played Sarah McLaughlin's "I Will Remember You". Totally anachronistic.

Yesterday, I visited the Tower Grove Farmers market for the first time, where I got some asparagus and plants. Chris and I later rode bikes up to Tower Grove for his kickball game. They needed a female player, so I guest played for them. Later, I went to our own Team Awesome game, where not only did we win big, but I kicked a triple AND we were filmed for Channel 11's Team of the Week for The Fan Show. Set your Tivo for 9:30 so you see just how awesomely ridiculous Team Awesome is. We even won a Papa John's pizza party.

Capping off the day, we went to Wilco, again, this time meeting up with Reverend Emily and Big Dan. Show wasn't as good, mainly because I was tired, and my poorly-chosen-but-cute shoes hurt my feet somethin' fierce, but the highlight was meeting in person with one of my blogging community friends. Rebecca from The Prologue of My Life and the St Louis Bloggers Guild attended all three shows and knew I'd be down on the floor. She came down and found me (by looking for the White Girl 'Fro, of course) and we spent almost 15 minutes talking. I have to admit, it's a little intimidating, meeting people whose relationship has been strictly internet-based, but meeting Rebecca alleviated my fears as we got along quite well because she is what I like to call "The Shit". Although when I went back to Chris, Rev Em, and Big Dan, they asked where I had been for 15 minutes, and when I said, "I was talking to my internet friend," I did get some weird looks and fake-lisp riddled comments. To those people, I say "Suck on these nuts".

Chris took some photos at the show.

Uniting For Human Rights

Bloggers Unite is sponsoring a day of blogging for human rights (thanks to AI for the tip), and I have a few words to say about something that I've been thinking about lately, as have many people in St Louis.

Phyllis Schlafly is set to receive an honorary doctorate from Wash U. There is considerable outrage about this: many Wash U faculty, staff, and students are protesting what they see to be an honoring of someone who is against academic and intellectual inquiry, dissent, and gender equality.

I am completely against what Phyllis Schlafly stands for. I protested her speaking engagement at Truman as an undergrad, for several reasons. I also asked her a question which she skillfully deflected and did not answer, basically calling me a crazy feminist instead of acknowledging the flaw in the rhetoric she was presenting. Frankly, I don't really care if Wash U honors her; like it or not, she is well-known and well-respected by a portion of our nation.

And I'm not against her message of honoring and respecting the role women play as homemakers. I am totally in support of women choosing to work in the home, and that work is difficult and important. I'm just against women being forced into that role, and I don't believe that women hold exclusive claim to that role; I believe men can be wonderful working-in-the-home husbands and fathers, just as women can have successful careers. Every family has the right to decide what works best for them.

I am completely against what Schlafly has said (and this is my segway into human rights) about marital rape. Schlafly believes that if you get married, you are consenting to sex. Forever. A woman cannot be raped by her husband. This is something that I completely disagree with. A woman has the right to say no to sex at any time. A man, even a husband, is not entitled to sex whenever he wants it. This is why feminism did not need to die with the ERA, as Schlafly suggests: because there are significant portions of our population who still believe that women cannot lay claim to their own bodies and that men assume control of a woman, mind, body, and soul, when they are married. Schlafly believes that women who accuse husbands of marital rape are just trying to use those accusations to get out of "legitimate" marriages.

Sigh.

Because women are never abused by their husbands. Because women never fall out of love with their husbands. Because women are never trapped in marriages by poverty, children, lack of opportunities, physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional abuse. Because it's impossible for a marriage to deteriorate to the point where a woman would be repulsed and violated by engaging in sex with her husband. Because men would never use rape as a tool of power and oppression over women, women who just may be their wives.

Because, sometimes, just sometimes, after a long-ass day of any combination of working, cleaning, childrearing, and cooking, a woman may not have the energy or desire to be sexified.

Because sometimes women just don't feel like it.

And that is our basic human right.

Mix Wit Version One

Here's my first MixWit mix. Something I was listening to the last few days when I was so stressed I got a canker sore and three fat zits on my face. Gross. If you want to cheer up, listen to it.

Finished my stuff for one more class. One more to go! Wilco tonight with my old friend, then again on Sat with Chris and Lonewolf.

Busy, Busy, Busy.

I'm trying to wrap up some assignments for the end of the semester, namely, the culminating assignment for my policy class. I'm looking at the recent Mo legislation that makes it ever easier to become a teacher. Just take an online test! Looking at that policy through theorists Kingdon and Edelman. Really interesting, but I'm totally down the rabbit hole--expanding what I've discovered, but unable to pull it all together, although I'm almost there.

So, until I finish all that, I'm going to be M.I.A (missing in action, not the Sri Lankan rapper). When I finish everything and throw my hands to the heavens, thanking God for getting me through the insanity that was this semester, I'm going to see Tweedy and the Boys and drink gratuitously. Twice. Maybe then I'll have some ruminations of substance.

I am taking a paper break to try lunch with Shannon and Christine at Revival, which has mostly been raved about over at STLBites.com, which is my favorite little gathering point for foodie nonsense in STL. Thanks, Bill!

Enjoy your Hump Day.

Wilco Tickets

Anyone need Wilco tickets for Thursday? I've got two general admission tickets to this sold out show. $90 for the pair. And you get to see me really drunk for free!

VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION

Some Twitter folks and I were just discussing John Mayer, whose music I hate with the fire of a thousand suns. I noted that "Your Body Is A Wonderland" might be the worst song ever.

That, however, maybe be hyperbole. But that raises an important question: what is the worst song to ever hit it big? The worst song that actually had a significant following? I thing VH1 said it was "We Built This City".

Please, leave your comments as to songs that you absolutely, positively cannot stand because they are shitty. Spirited debate could/should follow.

Rainy Morning

This video is brilliant and hilarious. Kermit the Frog covering Elliott Smith. That is not a typo. Perfect for a rainy Wednesday when I'm not in the mood to be depressed this early.

Announcing...

What: The Third Semi-Annual Backyard Trivia Night. Ten rounds. Ten questions. Winner takes all.

When: Saturday, May 31. Keg tapped at 6, trivia starts at 7.

Where: Our crib: South City. E-mail me if you don't know where. kbestoliver {at} yahoo {dot} com.

Who: You. And your four OR five person team with an awesome original name. Doubt you can top Miss Piggy's Taint Blister, but you can try.

Why: Are you asking?

Other pertinent details:

Cost: $10 per person, includes free beer until two kegs run dry and awesome prizes. Winning team takes all entrance money minus host costs.

Bring: Chairs and a table if you have one. Food so you can drink longer. One dollar bills, for the infamous DICE GAME or the East Side post-trivia. Your obscure knowledge A-game.

Do Not Bring: your drunk neighbor. We've got our own.

RSVP via comments, e-mail, cell phone, registered mail. Questions? See e-mail above. Detailed account of trivia nights of yore? Here and here.

Awesome Student Quote

My girls were on fire today during our game. I swear I'm not making this up.

Situation #1

Ref to my player, during the game: "Can I ask you a question?"

My player: "Sure."

Ref: "Those two Black girls on your team--are they from Africa?" (Note: we actually have five Black girls on our team, but apparently he was referring to the two darker-skinner girls)

My player: "Umm, pretty sure they're American."

Ref: "They just look African. They're pretty dark."

My player: "What?"

Later on bus, while relating story to team:

Other player: "Yeah, if he had asked me that, I would have said, 'No, they're not from Africa, you ignorant motherfucker!'"

Situation #2:

Girl on other team keeps yelling about things (her coach, other player, etc) being "gay"

My player: "You don't mean gay. You mean stupid, annoying, or obnoxious. Say what you mean. You sound really stupid when you say "gay".

We also won. So that was nice.

Brief Update

Trivia Night info is not yet finalized. This lady and her dude got caught up watching Cloverfield last night. There are finanacial/logistical conversations to be had over free burritos tonight. Know this: Saturday, May 31st. Mark it on your calendar.

Yes, I said free burritos. I'm eschewing my aforementioned self-imposed ban on burritos because that vow did not include free burritos. Chipotle is celebrating Teacher Appreciation Week, like the ballers they are, and giving all teachers free burritos tonight. Woot!

The new Augusten Burroughs book is really good. I cried my eyes out at the end. I may write more about it later.

Cool news #1: Happy Birthday, Big Ed! My dad's birthday is today. He is the coolest dad evah! He even has a bobblehead that looks just like him! And he's a white dude with an Afro! Fun Ed fact: Ed was born on his dad's birthday. Amazing!

Cool news #2: good friends Mike and Gena just celebrated the birth of their first baby, Christopher David. Big ups for virile sperm. I knew you had some swimmers, Mike. Congrats to both of you!

Monday Morning Mix

I've got something cooking on several fronts that I may be able to hit you with later--the Global Ecology conference I went to this weekend, a dramatic recap of the Team Awesome victory over the Redneck Ninjas (Chris's team) on Sunday, and the long-anticipated information on the THIRD Semi-Annual Backyard Trivia Night. Check back later for that noise. Right now, read this column on concert manners. I wrote something similar in Chris and I's zine. There's a lot of heated debate in the comments of this post, and I can see some people's points (particularly that of tall people). Two things I can't compromise on: talking and talking on a cell while a band is playing. Neither are particularly rock and roll, just rude, douchey behavior. I paid good money to hear a show, not you talking about something completely unrelated. But anyway.

Also, I got DJ Trackstar's Sill Dreamin' soul mix this weekend. $5 at Vintage, worth every penny. We grooved in Creative Writing this morning to some Erykah Badu and Blackstar.

Also, FINALLY was awake to feel the tiny quake this morning. I'm certain the big one is coming, which is probably the only thing that would persuade me to purchase bottled water.